He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
