I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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