just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
