I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
