I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
