honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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