nut hugger
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
