Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
