does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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