They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize