what if every blade of grass was a penis?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
