i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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