I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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