I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
