Yo dont text me then not text me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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