The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
