You work out of a Hotel?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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