So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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