so explain again why im purple
no
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
