i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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