i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
