bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
