I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
