Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
