and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize