toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize