The maid of honor just puked.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize