remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
