She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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