i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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