I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
