There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
