I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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