I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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