HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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