Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
