I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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