I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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