So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just tell him i said nine months
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
