hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just googled if crying burns calories
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize