ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
