i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
