I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
