Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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