I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
