Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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