can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
