I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
