Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize