I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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