If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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