I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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