I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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