love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize