I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize