He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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