The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My breasts were aching with rage.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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