I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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