She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
