i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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