no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
