It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
