So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
