I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
