I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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